Laurel Green

Waiting in line took, in total, about 20 hours spaced out over 3 days, but, after 3 tries at The Santa Claw (a giant real-life claw game played over the internet), I finally won my prize!

My glorious prize came in this magical envelope! Oh, the excitement I had in opening this envelope!

And, what was in the wonderful envelope? Why, it was none other than this knobby ball! Which came deflated and I have no pump, thus, it will remain thusly.

By the by, there was a sticker on the envelope that said “made in North Pole”, but the ball says “Made in China” and the guys that run The Santa Claw, the Real Art Design Group, are based in Dayton, Ohio, so.., I’m not sure. Is the sticker supposed to imply that the envelope was made in the North Pole? It is a mystery.

This card also came in the mystical envelope. It reads:

LUCKY YOU! You stood in line, played The Santa Claw, and won this impressive knobby ball. Amazing that is just didn’t seem to make it on someone’s Christmas list this year, huh? Your pals: The Santa Claw.

All in all, apart from the hours of waiting in line, playing with The Santa Claw was pretty fun.

You can still play with The Santa Claw at thesantaclaw.com, but it looks like they are out of prizes. There’s no line anymore, though!

I AM SO SMART! I AM SO SMART! S-M-R-T!

I got bored and made a bunch of circles in Photoshop.

I made a picture in Photoshop, but Flickr had some sort of conniption when I uploaded it, so this is what it looks like now…

Today, I made some blueberry oatmeal. I need to clean the stove top.

Today I made a creepy avatar of myself with evolver.

You know those little metal bits that they use to hold together pairs of socks? I built a chain out of them. Yep.

So they’re rebooting Power Rangers.

We used to play “Power Rangers” on the playground at recess in kindergarten. It mostly involved the boys arguing over who got to be the Red Ranger and the girls arguing over who got  the Pink Ranger.

And then they introduced the Green Ranger and everyone wanted to be him, because the Dragonzord was AWESOME.

Later on, the Green Ranger became the White Ranger and he wasn’t as cool anymore.

*sniff*

One day, Brontosaurus, awoke in his 5 billion dollar mansion. He pushed aside the 7 scantily-clad theropods strewn across his bed, dressed himself in his finest diamond filament fabric pants and went for a ride in his hobo-drawn carriage. His was a life of luxury.

Being rich and successful, this sexy sauropod was up to his ankles in dames. (The dames were, of course, part of the genus “fruitadens” and, thus, only reached his ankles by piling many on top of each other. That’s a lot o’ dames.) Sometimes he wondered, though, whether his life was actually worthwhile. Maybe it would be better for society if he contributed something to it, other than good looks and illegitimate children.

He decided, that very day, to become a veterinarian so that he could help save the lives of the many sauropods, theropods and ornithopods that were his buddies (dinosaurs were treated by veterinarians because they were animals). He wouldn’t help diplodocuses, though, because diplodocuses were jerks.

His life-changing decision was rendered completely moot, though, because the next day, a meteorite crashed into the Earth. Tonnes of dust was thrown into the air, partially blocking out the sun and making the Earth cooler. Most of the dinosaurs, being cold-blooded, died. Even Brontosaurus, despite his awesomeness, succumbed to the rapidly decreasing temperature. But all the diplodocuses died too, so it wasn’t so bad.

This was all just fantasy, of course. Brontosauruses never existed.

http://www.unmuseum.org/dinobront.htm