- I’m Lazy
- Y’all Ain’t Paying Me Anything
- They’re Watching Me
- My Fingers Are Broken
- I’ve Outsourced My Writing to India
- Everything that Can be Said has Been Said
- I Only Know Unspeakable Words
- Packets Keep Being Lost
- In Too Busy Saving the world
- The World is About to End
- Writing is Dead
- There are Gremlins in the Machine
- I Can’t Find a Pen
- Shia LaBeouf Keeps Plagiarising Me
- All Week be Destroyed by the Passage of Time
- Why Write when I Can Dance?
- I’m Too Busy Eating
- You Don’t Have to Write a Script Before You Start Shooting the Film Nowadays
- I’ve Decided to Start Communicating Via Telepathy
- Only the Squirrels Really Understand Me
- You can Already Read My Mind
- My Ghostwriter has been Ressurected
- Nobody has an Attention Span Anymore