Winter Hope

I hope that we don’t have another polar vortex this year. We really don’t need another snowmegeddon, snowpocalypse or snownarok.

I hope I don’t have to break out my thermal underpants, just to walk the dog.

I hope that I don’t have to chug hot chocolate to stay warm. (I will do it anyway, though.)

I hope global warming causes a year-round summer.

I hope that I don’t have to do that thing where you wear, like, three pairs of socks, in order to keep your toes from freezing solid and falling off.

I hope that I don’t have to fight that yeti again this year.

I hope that I don’t have to fight Santa VS the Snowman.

I hope that they re-release Die Hard, so that I can see it on the big screen or the first time.

I hope that the snow never gets too high for the pizza delivery guy.

I hope that the snow doesn’t knock the internet out

I hope that the polar bears don’t get me.

I hope that the whore frost doesn’t steal my man.

I hope that I can find snowshoes in my size.

I hope that a snowy owl won’t claw my eyes out.

I hope that The Day After Tomorrow doesn’t happen and a glacier chases me down a hallway.

I hope for delicious mulled wine to loll me to sleep.

I hope for Emo Philips to LOL me to sleep.

I hope or a luxurious winter coat made from lemur pelts.

I hope that the stupid Polar Express, with its mutant dead-eyed children, stays the Hell away from me.

I hope that I become the new Queen of Winter.