Twitter Timewarp Tuesday #25


Hey, it’s 1 extra pixel causing a horizontal scrollbar… I’ma gonna go shoot myself in the face.

I haven’t been able to fit a cellphone in my pocket in 10 years.

I forget what this was about, but I expected to see a green alien sticking its tongue out at me and instead I got a bunch of smug, plastic humans.

I also duel-wield celery. I’m highly proficient in vegetable combat.

Well, Time doesn’t so much as march as it flounces about haughtily, the bitch.

Do people not put ketchup on things? I used to have this shitty boyfriend who had to make a comment every time I put ketchup on something, because he thought it was weird.

I’ve been to Facebook, but I’ve never been to me.

The crust on frozen pizza never does what it’s supposed to do, but if I attempted to make my own pizza, I’d probably burn the house down.

I left that Clamato in there even after I moved out. I hope that someone has fun with it.

Half an hour. Then I needed to get more pizza.



“Eric Conveys an Emotion” is Going to Update! Just You Wait and See!

Here’s a small confession of mine: I check on several long-dead websites, which I enjoyed way back when, with alarming frequency, even though I’m almost entirely sure that they will never update ever again.

The problem is that many people don’t seem to leave goodbye posts. It’s just business as usual, until things stop abruptly. There’s so many webcomics, that I used to follow that just stopped in the middle of a storyline without explanation. I’m pretty sure that these people didn’t die suddenly, but I guess in a way part of them did. One day they just stopped, writing, drawing, singing etc. and never started up again.

Or maybe they just got tired of sharing their talents with the internet. I can understand that. The internet is stupid.

Maybe they found a more productive use of their time.

In any case, there’s always this hope inside me. They didn’t really give up. They’re just in hibernation. They’re lying in wait. They’ll be back and they’ll be better. Otherwise, why would they keep paying for their domain names and hosting? Huh? I’ll keep checking. One day my faith will be rewarded with more of what I used to enjoy. I’m greedy, I guess.

The internet is littered with the corpses of a billion dead projects and once in a while I like to prod them with a stick to see if they twitch. (Ick.)

Anyway, go bug Emotion Eric and tell him his dead website is causing me existential malaise.

I think that I’m going to rewrite this later. I can’t really get my thoughts straight on this subject at the moment. Also, I’m missing a bunch of commas.

This Energy Drink is Doing Nothing for Me

I drank all 473 mL of this energy drink jazz and I ain’t got any more energy than I had a few minutes ago.

I think this might be a crock.

What are taurine and guarana anyway?

So very, very tired. Woke up at 6AM, don’t ya know.

Maybe I should just take up drinking coffee. Buy me some $10 dirty boot water from the Starbucks.

I wish that I was capable of photosynthesis. Wouldn’t help me much right now, seeing as it’s night and all. I could get a sun lamp though.

I bought some energy gum one time at a gas station in the United States. It gave me a rapid heart beat. It also tasted horrible. You can buy a lot of weird stuff in gas stations.


I hear that trepanation can give you more energy. I should try that. Where’s my drill?

I rest my eyes and then it will be all over.

I dreamt about two giant red beetles creaking all over my room the other night. I hope that doesn’t happen again.