NaBloPoMo 2014

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texts that reads "NaBloPoMo 2014"

I haven’t participated in NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month), an event every November where you post every day for the entire month, in a few years. I near-completely lost interest in NaBloPoMo when it was taken over by BlogHer, a blogging platform for women (duh), and not just because the transition to BlogHer scared most of the men off, but because BlogHer is a cruddy, cruddy website.

Here, have some reasons why I hate BlogHer:

  • First and foremost, BlogHer is exploitative. Most of the posts on the website are written by unpaid community members, while the website is riddled with ads. Community members provide them with content for free, which brings them pageviews and ad impressions, and in return they get, I don’t know, a sense of community or something? You can join a community on BlogSpot or Tumblr and  both of those services allow you to put your own ads on your blog, so that you can get paid for your writing.
  • BlogHer puts outbound links in frames, placing their branding and ads on unaffiliated websites without their consent. This is just plain rude and frames went out of style in the 90s anyway.
  • The current BlogHer website features a tessellated layout and infinite scroll. I’ll probably do a long rant on why I hate these two design trends at a future date, but basically, they screw up navigation and reading comprehension.
  • Their post editor sucks badly.
  • Their name is a stupid pun.

Now, don’t construe this as me being against women having their own safe space for expressing their opinions. I just think that it’s best that such a place doesn’t exploit their talents for monetary gain. When you’re a writer, never work for exposure, or on spec.

So, yeah, this is probably the last you’ll hear about BlogHer from me, because I’m taking NaBloPoMo back from its massive corporate interests for the little guy, or something, I don’t know.

Anyhoo, join me every day this month for more inane rambling.

Twitter Timewarp Tuesday – Independence Day

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On July 4th, I got very mad at the movie Independence Day and tweeted about it.

Yeah, so that was pretty pointless.

Twitter Timewarp Tuesday #5

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I’m busy messing around with website backend junk, so you only get one old tweet today and it’s THE BEST TWEET EVER!

Seriously, I was trying to better myself by learning something new, and I know a lot of guitar nerds, but no one could give me a good recommendation for an awesome double guitar. Sometimes I doubt the rock credentials of some of these people. JEEZ.

Twitter Timewarp Tuesday #3

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Hey, it’s that thing with the old tweets and the Jello Pudding. Heh. Heh. Heh.

Sometimes, I wear armour because I like the way it looks on me. It’s not an invitation for every ruffian and barbarian to challenge me to to a duel. Yeah, you’ve got yourself a big enchanted mithril sword. Good for you. I don’t care. JEEZ.

Seriously, I only own t-shirts and jeans. I don’t like have to go through all that coordinating jazz in the morning.

I want to start a band with a stupid hipster movie reference name.

HAAAAMMMMMM…

Chicago-style pizza is unnecessary thick. No human being should consume that much cheese in one sitting.

Chicago does this crazy thing where they deck-out one of their L trains in Christmas light and other tacky decorations. It also pulls along Santa in a sleigh that’s totally open to the elements, which I don’t think is very safe.

I did find the Chicago Holiday Train. It was actually raining that day. Poor Santa Claus was soaked.

Narutomaki are traditionally made up of ground-up fish…

Chicago was hit with a huge snowstorm. People in Chicago apparently think that junk food makes for good emergency supplies.

I think that I’m clever at wordplay.

Well, that all for this week. We are getting closer and closer to being caught up to the present.

Twitter Timewarp Tuesday #1

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I was going through my Twitter archive, which meant scrolling down for, like, half an hour, because Twitter timelines can only be viewed in infinite scroll mode and not proper paginated archives like any non-crazy person would like. (I’m thinking of writing an article about how much I hate infinite scroll, one day.)

So, anyway, if I went through all that trouble scrolling, you’re going to have to relive some of my favourite old tweets with me.

This is my first ever tweet! I like Swedish Chef!

I think I was listening to The John Tesh Radio Show, and he did a a public service announcement about the dangers of huffing. If you’re a kid and you’re listening to The John Tesh Radio Show, I think that huffing freon is the least of your worries.

Sometimes, I wonder if Alexander Dumas even knew what a “musketeer” really was. Seriously, why were the three musketeers always using swords? It’s their job to use guns!

Yeah, that’s right, I say “pop” instead of “soda”.

They used to kill-off characters way more often in shows when I was a kid. I’d like to see them kill-off someone in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, or SheZow, or whatever all these weirdo kids are watching these days. What in the world is a “Bakugan” anyway? I hate you.

Seriously, The Sims, no virtual baby of mine should drink formula.

In The Sims Medieval, breastfeeding was the only option, BUT they blurred it out like it was offensive or something, bleh. I think they should have included the option for the noble sims to use a wet nurse.

Is it a rule that, when you work your way up to captain, that you’ve earned the right to look cooler than everyone else?

This is probably me getting angry at some saying that synthetic things are full of “toxins”. Eat some nightshade why don’t you and then extoll the virtues of how free of “toxins” the natural world is.

Yeah, do hand models ever get plastic surgery to make their hands look younger? At what age do hand models usually get pushed out of the business?

It was standard procedure in our house, that when you bought a new game on floppy disk, that you made back-ups of it. An errant magnetic field could wipe-out your originals, after all.

Well, that’s all for this week’s Twitter Timewarp Tuesday. Join me next week, where we’ll relive more inane things that I’ve posted that nobody cares about.