Yay! Stupid Twitter now doesn’t show all tweets when you d an advance search. Gee, I really love it when algorithms decide what I want to see for me.
Bleh. Back to the “scroll down for forever” method of finding old tweets, then.
The pope is out of mana?
— Laurel Green (@Laurel_Green) February 11, 2013
See, this joke works on two levels: mana is your magical energy in a video game and it’s also the name of the special food that God gave the Israelites to sustain them on their journey.
I'm upset that Escape From Planet Earth isn't a Kurt Russell movie.
— Laurel Green (@Laurel_Green) February 12, 2013
It’s the only place he hasn’t escaped from yet.
I think I just inhaled a moth. What do I do? WHAT DO I DO!?
— Laurel Green (@Laurel_Green) February 19, 2013
Things need to stop invading my orifices.
Twerking hard or hardly twerking?
— Laurel Green (@Laurel_Green) February 19, 2013
Remember when twerking was a thing?
Longshoremen and shortshoremen, high seas and low seas, there's no middling on this boat.
— Laurel Green (@Laurel_Green) February 20, 2013
Nautical jokes. You inlanders just wouldn’t understand…
One of the benefits of being a nerd: having never really participated in sports, unlike a lot of people, *my* knees work perfectly.
— Laurel Green (@Laurel_Green) February 20, 2013
Ha! Take that, you stupid jocks!
Satan give me strength.
— Laurel Green (@Laurel_Green) February 20, 2013
The Devil worships me.
I didn't choose the thug life. The thug life chose the prince and I'm a pauper. We switched lives.
— Laurel Green (@Laurel_Green) February 21, 2013
Mark Twain is now rolling in his grave.
What would happen if I put Baconnaise on these Bacon Dippers?
— Laurel Green (@Laurel_Green) February 21, 2013
I’m always trying to collapse the universe.
I'm starting a gang. We're going to pour whitewash down the pants of this whole stinking town.
Chowderheads need not apply.
— Laurel Green (@Laurel_Green) February 22, 2013
In care you youngins don’t know, this is referring to The Three Stooges.
Well, that’s does it for today. Follow my Twitter, or don’t. Whatever.