Twitter Timewarp Tuesday #31


Granted, the “angry” thing was just a turbulent sea, but that was incredibly violent imagery for Bob Ross.

My god, the contrast was staggering.

Yeah, I don’t care if you’re turning right. Pedestrians have right of way and forcing people to jaywalk is just damned rude.

Just when you think that bagel technology has progressed just about as far as it can go, humanity makes a breakthrough that shatters the previous generation’s bagel record.

Truly, these are the bagels for the Information Age.

He shows me that he loves me by farting and begging for cheese. Then the cheese makes him fart some more.


Laurel, there are people who are starving and don’t have access to clean water, and here you are bathing in chocolate.

Fuck you, I got mine.

With style. You take the Ritz off with style.

I buy a six-pack for my ribs and a six-pack for my tummy.

Seriously, remove those fabric pills. It instantly makes a sweater less frumpy.

I sure really lay off the weird spicy spirits. For one thing, they’re always using spice to cover up that it’s a poor quality liquor and then I wake up with a headache.