I just spent several hours trimming 6.5kb off of a style sheet.
— Laurel Green (@Laurel_Green) April 14, 2013
Making my website load that itty-bitty fraction of a second faster was well worth the trouble.
You're either a princess or a witch.
— Laurel Green (@Laurel_Green) April 15, 2013
Or sometimes you’re a fairy, I guess.
One of these days, I'm gong to give names to the half-billion text documents on my desktop. One of these days…
— Laurel Green (@Laurel_Green) April 17, 2013
New Text Document has about a thousand identical twin brothers.
There's nothing that says that once you've sold your soul that you can't one day buy it back.
— Laurel Green (@Laurel_Green) April 21, 2013
The Devil runs a pawnshop.
Ugh. Jeff Goldblum is such a weirdo.
WHY WON'T HE MARRY ME!?
— Laurel Green (@Laurel_Green) April 29, 2013
I don’t have an unhealthy obsession with Jeff Goldblum. Obsessing over Jeff Goldblum is the healthiest thing that a human can do.
When your back is against the wall and things seem their darkest, just remember: there are still delicious sandwiches in this world.
— Laurel Green (@Laurel_Green) May 1, 2013
The Darkest Timeline has no sandwiches.
When you've got "The Girl from Ipanema" perpetually stuck in your head, is it a curse from a leprechaun or a voodoo priestess?
— Laurel Green (@Laurel_Green) May 3, 2013
Seriously, it’s stuck in my head at this very moment.
I'm going to become a superhero named "The Scowl". I will have a giant red S on my cowl.
— Laurel Green (@Laurel_Green) May 7, 2013
Wow. It’s like a visual pun or something.
I wish to cause grievous bodily harm to the person that invented window wells.
— Laurel Green (@Laurel_Green) May 11, 2013
Window wells: because you like to watch as your basement gets flooded.
What's something that I can make for breakfast that I can put ketchup on?
— Laurel Green (@Laurel_Green) May 13, 2013
The answer is: eggs.
ALL FOR NOW.